_____So why am I writing this? I don't quite know myself. I was thinking to myself one day about, to quote the dude from the Twisted Sister music video "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE!!!???" that's a good question. If I had come to an easy answer earlier I would probably would have picked something besides "Spanish B" for a class this year. Anywho, I began to think and I thought about my ultimate dream in life would to be dictator of my very own animated cartoon series. So um, I guess that's where writing came to mind. Plus, not to toot my horn, but atleast last year in English class, I could write a paper at 6:30 AM on the fly and it would be good enough to read in front of the class(much to my shigrin). For whatever reason, I went over to http://www.ninjaturtles.com(don't ask) and stumbled upon an interview with some guy who wrote scripts for Ninja Turtles episodes. Basically, what cought me was his advice for those wanting to get into the buisness, which was more or less "write, write and write some more." Now the question was what to write about. That question was easily answered by browsing through my SNES library and stumbled upon what Game Pro magazine called "Greatest Game of All Time" that's right my friends: Street Fighter 2.

_____Street Fighter 2 hosted a strange cast of characters let it be the brown haired, pony tailed, homosexual Vega or the poor man's Ghandi rip off Dhalsim, Street Fighter 2 had some strange individuals. Lets take our friend "Zangief" for example, shall we? Zangief's stomping grounds was the mean streets of the U.S.S.R(games pretty old, huh?). If you look in the bankground of this brute's stage(a stage is a place where the two combatants fight it out in case you didn't know) you will see a man drinking a bottled beverage. Talk about your stereotypes, huh? Or our friend "M. Bison". What's "M" suppose to mean? Originally his name was Vega, but fearing putting the name on the Mike Tyson-esque boxing bully(later renamed "Balrog") they did a three way name change in which Bison was givin to the red coat wearing Hitler wannabe, but none of these goof balls could compare to the green monster from Brazil(yes, Brazil) Blanka.

_____You see, Blanka is indeed a disturbing creature. Coming from a place not really known for it's ability to produce monsters Blanka is by far the most disturbing of the "Street Fighters". I had a conversation about this with my friend over AIM:

TeamNaugus: Why is he from Brazil?
Codegamer79: cause he is
Codegamer79: thats where he was born
Codegamer79: /created
TeamNaugus: It's just that you don't see monsters coming from the country Brazil a whole lot...
Codegamer79: not necessarily
TeamNaugus: Ussually they're from outer space or something
Codegamer79: no aliens in street fighter
TeamNaugus: You know any Brazillian monsters?
Codegamer79: blanka
TeamNaugus: Besides him smart ass
Codegamer79: hmm
Codegamer79: his mom
Codegamer79: and dad
TeamNaugus: That's a good guess...
Codegamer79: yeah
Codegamer79: and he does have them
Codegamer79: cause if you beat the game with him, we see them
Codegamer79: in a little movie clip
TeamNaugus: Yeah, I remember that

His features include radical orange hair, green skin and the ability to turn into a lighting rod at a momenets notice, but perhaps the most disturbing of his features is his hairy palms which is an obvious sign of chronic masturbation and that's the point of this eassay. That's right if you are of ethnic Portuguese descent and masturbate maybe you can too gain the ability to spin around like a cannon ball in mid air, grow bizzare skin/fangs and get outragous orange hair. Then again being a muscular badass with the ability electricute his enemies does sound like fun. Anyone have a Kleenex?